It,s now five years since I had an oesphagectomy. I find that I,m suffering from flashbacks a lot of the time. It was eighteen months of continual tests before I was diagnosed then I had chemotherapy and radiotherapy followed by surgery. I,m used to my new normal now regarding diet etc however it’s this awful feeling of sadness I get when I think about tests I had to have and time spent in hospital after surgery. I try to distract myself by going out and I have hobbies but it just comes over me every so often, just hearing the name of the hospital I was in makes me feel sad. Has anyone been or going through this and have any suggestions to what I can do to stop these feelings. I,m forever grateful to the doctors and I do appreciate the fact that my life was saved by them.