why does the medical industry refuse to acknowledge a double standard exists in the treatment of men versus women when it comes to intimate care? The obvious reason is the imbalance in gender representation on the personal care level. The solution that I have experienced is to to lead the unsuspecting patient along until the patient has reached a point of no return (commonly known as ambushing)or in many instances they will be given drugs in the case of surgery that removes all inhibitions and memory. If a man responds negatively to what is being done to him by the opposite gender he is painted as the one with a problem regardless of their moral or personal beliefs. No effort is made to determine whether they may be triggering emotions buried deep inside that the patient may not be aware of themselves. And then told they need to go sort it out. After the emotional damage is done is not the time to find out that transparency could have avoided the damage by giving the patient a choice. Women in large part are given a choice and in most cases never need to choose because the chances of someone of the opposite sex coming to their room to perform an intimate procedure are slim and will be quickly rectified if it were to occur and the patient refuses. On the other hand a man will be told to leave his modesty at the door/ you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before/ we don’t have any male nurses and the list goes on. I’ve heard many men here and on other sites that say it doesn’t bother them and that’s fine for them. I would like to leave with an analogy that may give some comparative insight. I have known several people in my life that are deathly afraid of heights regardless of any eminent threat of falling . I personally have a respect of heights but no fear. Should I laugh at their fear and tell them to sort it out or give them the compassion they deserve ?
The people I know never sort out their fear or overcome their fear they merely avoid high places. Try that one in the medical world when you are in need of medical care and one sex is told to climb a tall ladder and the other is left with their feet firmly on the ground?
Written by
Lumpy1968
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Well, I do not have a solution, there is a sea of women in the health care field. The other side of the coin I have noticed is not providing good care or exam because the women did not want to be exposed to a man. I understand that at 70 as a country music song said I don't look good naked anymore. Recruiting men is difficult because the women have staked out medicine as theirs. About 60% of the students in medical school are female. I would rather have a female than a gay male.
My reply was to Lumpy who does have a problem with women doing exams. I know quite a few, especially Evangelical Christian men that have issues with women in health care. If they must see a female provider they have the wife in tow, in the exam. I have a female Urologist, who I like a great deal. I absolutely do not want a gay male providing any kind of intimate care. This subject comes up fairly often. As I said I do not have a solution. Had a woman at church look dead at my wife and tell her "I would put a stop to that" in reference to my female Urologist. Evangelical Christians have a difficult time dealing with this situation, but nothing like Muslim believers.
The thing I find interesting is although the preferences are different there are clearly preferences. One gender gets choices and another doesn’t. Perfect example I have been to 3 different urologist over the years, all 3 male by choice every other person in that office was female. My wife worked OB/GYN for 30 years and never heard of any of those offices employing men and the doctors sex is the patients choice. Unlike men women are not told to suck it up buttercup.
I guess my whole point is the lack of acknowledgment in the medical industry that a double standard exists. Acknowledgment of a problem would necessitate corrective action . Denial and avoidance is cheaper and we all know it’s all about the money.
The double standard exists I think for two reasons: 1) as already stated, there are more women in the health care field than men, particularly, but not only, in nursing, and 2) our stereotyped gender roles still signal to too many people that men are supposed to be able to suck it up, have no feelings, and are not subject to violation (because we are supposed to be strong, physically and mentally). But sometimes we can be just as sensitive or afraid as anyone else. But where is the dividing line? Should a racist patient (male or female) be able to refuse care from a provider of another race? should a homophobic patient be able to refuse care from a gay or lesbian provider? should a lesbian or gay patient able to say no, they'll only be respected by another gay provider, they will accept no straight providers? (and I'd bet that historically more lesbian and gay patients have suffered indignities at the hands of straight providers than straight patients have at the hands of gay providers). Just where do we draw the line, even assuming practicality/availability permits us to draw lines?
You bring up a good point that is much more far reaching than the medical world! I find the blurring of lines in today’s society between racism versus social mores versus personal dignities and beliefs to have been complicated beyond belief.
We got rid of a very troubling situation in the 60’s where you would see signs that read whites only even on bathroom entrances and put it as it should be MEN’S or WOMEN’S room and now they are trying to blur those lines??? I’m sure in all my years I have stood at a urinal next to a gay guy and never knew the difference , biologically he belonged there. I couldn’t read his mind nor did I care to. Juxtapose that to having a woman strip you naked and touch you intimately with very little warning or consent for some can illicit some very strong emotions that for me are the complete opposite feelings I have when sharing an intimate moment with a woman that has allowed herself to be as vulnerable.
Through personal experiences I came up with some words that for me describe some of the emotional feelings that I felt in a medical setting , shame, vulnerable, compromised, humiliated, marginalized, emasculated, embarrassed, degraded, violated . If a male were too do the same to me I would feel uncomfortable and awkward but I could tolerate the latter scenario.
Feelings are like noses and opinions everybody’s got one but I would say that the general consensus is there is still a need for a men’s room and a ladies room and the question must be asked why? I would say dignity and respect
How that female feels about seeing you naked or how many penis she has seen is irrelevant you’re the only naked person in the room!
You make a valid point, but I'm sure the reverse is true also, often the female patients only choice is to have a chaperone present. Mrs Omniscient recently had a mammogram done by a male technician, and in the UK 45% of gynys are male. It's better in the US but still a whopping 15% of ob/guns are male.The problem I think is lack of consideration for people's feelings regardless of sex.
I doesn't bother me as I'd rather have a competent female poking my intimate parts (as I have had) than a less competent male. But that's a personal choice and I respect yours.
If 85% of US OB/GYN’s are female, and virtually all of the staff below the level of doctor are female in almost all offices, I certainly cannot agree with your statement that “the reverse is true also, often the female patients only choice is to have a chaperone present”. And it’s not just OB/GYN; there are plenty of female doctors in every US practice type, and so choices abound for women. For men, even a male doctor’s office has all female nurses, med techs, and admin staff. Finally, even if your only-choice/chaperone comment were true, the chaperone would almost certainly be female.
Because they don’t perceive financial gain in acknowledging or doing anything about the obvious double standards. They write off all the patients who avoid medical care because of it. No one seems to care about treating male patients as road kill.
It seems that guys are responding from different countries; I am in the U.S.
Respect for patient privacy and dignity is central to good healthcare and in fact is a recognized core principle of doctors’ and nurses’ Code of Ethics. IMO, this principle is especially important and paramount in at least two different practice areas - Urology and Dermatology - where intimate care is most likely encountered by men (outside of surgeries). Given my advanced age and health issues, I have visited both types of practices recently and frequently. Unfortunately, my experience has been that, despite choosing male doctors and being somewhat comfortable with female nurses while being exposed, I am met with a sea of women medical technicians for intimate care while exposed. Med techs are not professionals and I am not comfortable with these females in intimate situations...but I have no choice, and it is sometimes humiliating but more often I am just angered at the double standard compared to how women are treated. I see this double standard as just one part of larger problems facing men, including the current crisis in men's healthcare evidenced by any number of statistics including suicide, mental health and the increasing longevity gap between the sexes, and other metrics. The terms “men’s health” and “women’s health” appeared in the titles or abstracts of papers in PubMed from 1970 to 2018. Despite numerous health issues that affect men more than women, the term “men’s health” has been used 1555 times over that 48-year period, whereas the term “women’s health” has been used 14,501 times. In addition, I am disgusted by the ubiquitous but mostly subtle current cultural, political, academic and media over-promotion of women and simultaneous denigration of men, especially white men. You know it has reached the point of absurdity now that any number of movies show a 110 lb woman hero beating up of a group of large bad guys.
Back to the subject at hand: It is unbelievable to me that a urology practice, which typically sees 70-80% male patients, cannot seem to hire even a single male med tech and offer the choice to patients. I have raised the issue with my provider and I get excuses like "we don't see many male med tech applicants", or "men want to make more money", or "we have discussed that in meetings". At the male Dermatologist's office, I was treated to a female scribe in the room (who the doctor referenced as a nurse but who I knew was a med tech) for a full body scan visit. In addition, as the doctor entered the exam room, he stated that he had some students that day and would it be OK if they observed. I replied "not really", as the females were quickly pushing in behind him so fast that they bumped into each other when the first one heard me and stopped to back out. I'm not even kidding - you can't make this up. Reverse the genders in that situation and try to imagine it.
I raised the issue with my Urology practice folks, telling them that the double standard is unacceptable and even contributes to poor outcomes for men's health, since there is some number of men who won't seek medical care, or won't return, and will suffer serious health problems or even die. And I told my dermatologist that I had chosen him as a male doctor out of a sea of female dermatologists in my area and that the med tech and "student" ambush I suffered meant I would be finding a new dermatologist.
I hope more men find their courage and voice to address any privacy or intimate care concerns directly with their providers, and start to make a change for themselves and their brothers. To express the concern in terms of the double standard is one way that may alleviate, rather than exacerbate, any embarrassment in addressing the issue with providers. Don’t “man up” and take it; speak up!
If a dermatologist brings in a scribe to take notes and you have a concern in your private areas you want the dermatologist to look at, address the scribe directly and tell her "would you mind turning your back for a minute". There is no reason the scribe can't take her notes without staring at the naked male patient! Men expect to receive the same dignity and privacy afforded women!
Men need to start speaking up and not accepting being embarrassed and humiliated by a female assistant that has no respect for men's privacy!!!
We are paying for this service and we should demand some privacy or go to another doctor!!
Exactly! When I go to my male dermatologist and he needs to look at anything private, I tell him we need to be alone. He has the scribe leave the room, and opens the door when we are done. Men have got to speak up for themselves.
While endeavoring to be as non-judgmental as possible I know I’m far from perfect. I do see your concern and understand how troubling it must be for you. I’m not sure if you have done this yet but perhaps when you book your next appointment request to have a male doctor or explain why you would be uncomfortable with a female. If they are professional enough they should do everything possible to insure your comfort without you having to go into great detail about the origins of your feelings. I have a great relationship with my family doctor who happens to be a man and the assistant always offers a drape for modesty should I need to remove a shirt or pants, but I am quite comfortable letting a male or female doctor look at my private parts—my urologist is female and I guess my feeling is they’re trained to be professional and I doubt whether any of them feel the least bit uncomfortable with me. But that’s me. Take away my clothes in a more public setting and I’ll probably scream. I also have a snake phobia. Who knows where it came from—perhaps in a past life I had one of those “Indiana Jones” moments where he’s suddenly surrounded by snakes, or maybe it was growing up with a mom who would shriek whenever one crossed her path in a place where snakes loved to live. My sister would run after me with a snake in her hands knowing the terror it would bring. My best friend was a snake lover but was also kind enough to know my dislike of them. I stopped going to his place for a sleepover right after he brought home a boa constrictor. Could I get therapy of some sort to make it so I could actually pick up a snake and not be afraid? Sure, but I’m doing fine by avoiding places that snakes love to frequent. If you get negative results after requesting accommodations from your medical professional, ask for a supervisor or someone that’s more concerned with customer service, and if you still have problems I would suggest finding a new doctor or medical professional who will be more understanding. Best wishes to you.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
