Depression is getting much worse.

[Stillstanding53]

I posted previously, however my situation has gone from bad to worse. I am feeling very overwhelmed and I am starting to lose hope that things will ever improve. I'm just so tired of everything being so unbelievably hard.

As mentioned before, I lost my job recently. I am 70 years old and not in good health, having been a 3 time cancer survivor. Unfortunately I need to continue working because I did not make smart financial moves in the past. I am filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy, collecting unemployment and also social security, but the cost of living is very high where I live. I can't afford to move and I can't afford to stay where I am. And since I'm the struggling middle class, there is little help available. We just keep struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I have no family and no close friends and I'm feeling very alone, abandoned and isolated. Yes I think about suicide on a daily basis. I'm still here because I have a pet who needs me to look out for her. When she's gone, there is nothing and nobody else. I'm not ready to give up on life, but honestly, I don't know what to do. And what makes things worse is that my previous employer is accusing me of potential wrong doing, so I may be facing charges. Even though it's his word against mine, the law works in mysterious ways. I can't sleep or keep food down too well. I'm really in a horrible way.

[sunshinefan]

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I am thinking about you. Can you chat on a helpline to keep you company? I have found them very helpful in the past.

[Stillstanding53 in reply to sunshinefan]

Thank you very much for your thoughts. I have tried chatting online, however lately it doesn't help too much. Just tired of always being alone. I never thought my life would be like this.

[sunshinefan in reply to Stillstanding53]

I’m sorry and I’m thinking of you and wish I could help more!

[PhoebeOphelia]

I have similar issues - lost conflict-ridden job, trying to job hunt at 65. I think many of us with a history of depression had difficult families and never got good at trusting and connecting with others. Throw in a pandemic and the isolation starts to feel insurmountable. Your comments made me think of a few things

— how important and loved we are by pets…

— there is a huge community of cancer survivors out there looking to support each other. I found an exercise group at the Y just for cancer survivors (and free because it was from Lance Armstrong’s foundation);

— you must be eligible for free legal services for support around the job issue

— I also live in an expensive state and toy with the idea of a big move to a more affordable part of the country. Why not? It’s not like I will get more isolated!