Supposed therapy day

[Ch_M_Anwaar]

Today I had an appointment for therapy and I barely made there in time but my therapist was already gone I have mid term going on

And I am for the first time in my life maybe failing badly.

I had the exam from12 to 1.30

And the appointment was 1.30

I got out before the time but I couldn't make it there in time

I hadn't eaten anything for the last two days

Just half a glass juice

I fainted on the way back

I can't bring myself to eat anything

And everything hurts

It Hurts more than it did yesterday

More than it did the first day I went for treatment

My. Treatment hasn't even officially begun

I've rescheduled for Saturday

I feel everyday so long and tough

I don't know how far away is Saturday going to be

I hate it

Maybe I don't even hate it

I literally wanna throw myself out the window

But I can't

I never thought I'd be afraid to die

But I have become a coward

Who's afraid of death.

I wanna live you know like actually live live.

I wanna drown myself in some sort of lake

I have started to scratch my self when I hurt

I can't control it but It doesn't help either

I just wanna be happy again...

[cashew78]

Hello, sorry to hear you're going through an excruciatingly bad time. Based on what you're saying I think it would be good to see a doctor as soon as possible. If you're having issues with eating and passing out during the day then that is reason enough to go. When you're there the doctor or nurses may be able to direct you to health services that can help you, both in the immediate short term, but also in the long run as well. Good luck; keep posting. Also try posting in the HU anxiety and depression group as it seems to be more populated than this forum. You will find support there.

[Hidden]

sorry you’re struggling so badly and well done for reaching out for some support here.

I agree with Cashew, I think seeing a GP would be a really good start to helping you get well - both physical and mental wellness. Feeling suicidal is debilitating and it’s not something that is easy to break away from once you’re in that downward cycle.

Saturday will feel like an eternity away, but I hope you can distract yourself until then and that your appointment is helpful.

Talk to us here again if you need, hopefully someone will be here to give a bit of support. Take care