ok

[Dogsabighelp]

im trying hard to understand.they tell me he was fine after his 10 minute rant yesterday.rang today they say he ok no probs.i will not/cant do this visit.they said they would try to explain how he upset me.i will do better next week,just need a breather i guess

[APAscot]

My heart goes out to you. I can’t offer any words of wisdom. Hope you can stay strong and your son improves x

[cat3]

Loss of empathy and of inhibition are classic symptoms. I was shocked to the core, learning later, how abusive I'd been and of the 'ripe' language I'd used .........but had no memory of any of it.

No one would judge you for taking a step back D. Take a well deserved breather and treat yourself to something special ! xx

[Pairofboots]

Good to rant, as in your earlier post. I do understand how this is so distressing. Don't feel bad about taking time for yourself. Anyone needs time to regroup, gather themselves and put your game face on.

It is difficult, at the moment he needs to lit rip, at who, he doesn't necessarily worry about at the moment. It is a phase that he has to go through. Staff are paid to absorb this, not to accept it, but absorb it.

Your emotions are raw, you have all that has gone before, and now this. You are strong, it is going to knock you, but you have got all of us in your corner. X

[New_beginning]

Hold it together D your his rock you got to remain strong , reconsider visiting him, he needs consistency

[paxo05]

Hi ,The only insight I can offer is he probably will not remember the rant and will have not meant anything by it.

The frustration he builds up comes out inappropriately and to the wrong people.

Having said that this is a reason and not an excuse. His rants still hurt you and you need a breather.

I can only speak from his point of view but further down the road he will be mortified how he has behaved.

Explain you need to recharge , he will not be happy and will probably rant , I did , but in the long run you need to protect yourself so as to be there for him.

Pax

[Skallagrigg]

I stepped back from my son in May, we only have one 1 hour a visit a week which I asked other people to do, I still ring him and he rings me daily, but some days if he's "agitated"as the hospital puts it, I turn my phone off for a few hours, I can just now do that without feeling guilty, he acts after just as normal as he can be, yesterday he got put on a section 3 of mental health act, because he's forever saying he,ll escape, ringing taxis, friends etc, he can't walk, or get in wheelchair himself so not sure how he would but in his mind he can ,he seems to have gone backwards recently but I am visiting him Sunday,told him to have a shower,he's scared cos he slipped,and use zimmer with help to get to the family visiting room, we,ll see Good luck with yours x

[New_beginning in reply to Skallagrigg]

Gosh yeah my husband was ringing everyone to pick him up, they all rang me flapping then I had to explain, he would constantly rant at me,. He would ring me when he had escaped, I had to keep him on line, use sons mobile to get hold of staff, one feisty nurse was like if hes left premises it's the police problem, silly cow, he was suppose to be one to one and wasn't medically fit after heightened behaviour they couldn't cope, transferred locally under one to one, still escaped and police did pick him up. Was only those risks I challenged to get him home, behaviour continued for 4.5months exactly the same eased a little for one month until September 2020 but bad again until December. Eased for one week then bad until March 2021, he then beat his 10 day record until he scared company doing guttering and they did runner, it's become manageable since April 2021 then he kicked off at Brain Injury Team OT in May 2021 and they stated hes not ready to accessing community, but were now on day 13 of positive behaviour. Honestly I should do a little sketch on the crazy 16months, couldn't write it, and that's just a glimpse. And I'm all on my own working 3 year old and son 16 next week. And yet professionals cant walk with him up the road. (Ggrrrrr)