My employer told me they planned to make me redundant 48hrs after I found out I was pregnant. I suspect it was because they knew I was about to go through my first round of IVF (I conceived unassisted the week before I was due to start my first round). I managed to drag the process out for a few weeks but they made me officially redundant earlier this month. They gave me 1 weeks wages as a severance package (I had under 2 years service). I am currently going through the first stages of taking them to a tribunal and will see how that goes.
My old employer have really screwed me over financially. I'm now not eligible for maternity pay anywhere and the pittance of a severance won't exactly tide me over so now I'm in the process of trying to find a new job. The whole thing feels incredibly awkward. I feel bad starting in a new place then telling them I need to leave for a chunk of time. I feel a pressure (both financially and through guilt) to take a reduced maternity leave but then I also feel sad that I won't get the full time off with my baby (who is likely to be my only one given my previous infertility issues). I know I have to do this but I feel really bad and sort of guilty about the whole thing. Has anyone else been in this position? How did you cope with it?
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wanderlustre
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Hey lovely, so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's awful.
Depends on the sector, but more and more companies are ditching the "length of service" criteria on their enhanced parental leave. Of course it's a bit tricky to get concrete information on internal policies beforehand, especially if you don't want to disclose you're pregnant during the interview process. But sometimes information is available on the public domain, and maybe once you get to the offer stage you could try and ask a generic question on benefits.
Re financial implications - do you have a partner? If so have you discussed this with them? If not perhaps do you have family members who you could possibly rely on? What are their thoughts?
Re guilt- I think you have enough on your plate to worry about, so try not to let the guilt towards your future employer add more to that. Easier said than done, but you have to draw a line - job is a job, let people think whatever of you. Life happens and that's the risk any employer is in theory ready to take on. If not pregnancy, one might unexpectedly fall ill, or have to relocate due to family reasons, etc. There will always be some kind of jobs, but you can't claim your time with your little one back.
I changed jobs due to a similar circumstance admist rounds of FET - the last embryo stuck and so became pregnant 3 months in, so this all feels familiar. It is an incredibly multifaceted problem with no easy/right answers.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am however sorry you are going through issues with your previous employer.
You really should not worry or feel guilty about seeking new employment. These things happen. I moved cities and jobs just after my last round of IVF and found out I was pregnant 2 days before the start of my new job. The right employer will be supportive. I am still on good terms with my line manager from that job. Even if they are not, they will suck it up as I have seen done in a previous role.
With regards to maternity pay, my employer when I moved cities were generous to a point but DH and I had to live on just Maternity Allowance for a few months. We cut out non essentials like sky and watched our spending on food like takeaways. I did end up going back to work when my daughter was 9 months. I started off with 4 days and then went back full- time when she was 11 months. It was hard at first but we quickly adapted. I started with the 4 days so I could spend one day with her- I took her to baby swimming classes.
She is now an amazing 2 year old whose speech is advanced for her age, she is already potty trained and she just blows my mind everyday. Also after catching lots of nursery germs. I think her immune system is quite robust as she has not been seriously ill for some time.
Hi. Thank you for sharing your experience. I will be joining work part time when baby turns 6 months. I am really skeptical about leaving him in a nursery. Mom-guilt combined with the fear of infections is a lot. Your message gives me hope that all will be ok.
I am glad that my message has brought you some hope. Picking up lurgies from nursery is a right of passage for every child that attends nursery for the first time regardless of their age. This is what every parent I mentioned my woes to said! 😉
I also forgot to mention that kids that go to nursery earlier adapt quicker to the change. A colleague of mine noted her first child struggled with being dropped off at nursery when she was over 12 months but her second who went to nursery at 6 months coped much better.
My mom guilt was strongest when I dropped my daughter off and had to leave her whilst she was crying. Despite the obvious cons, there are some pros to what you have to do! Good Luck!
Just wanted to say good luck and screw them for every penny! But also good luck in your pregnancy. No idea how I’m going to cope as a single mum but you know what people do cope and so will you 💪🏻 🍀💖
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