Is it all worth it?

[God-sFavourite]

Finally it's time. I'm going to move out of my house and not only the house but the city.

I don't know how to translate my feelings in words. I'm happy but a little nervous, relieved but also anxious.

I don't know why I'm feeling this. I've wanted this for long.

Things have been the same as they were before. To be honest, they've been more towards the worse.

Mom has been to the top-most peak of toxicity than she were ever before.

But I still feel emotional. There's a feeling of sadness of leaving them (parents) behind. I know they are in worst state of their mental and physical being.

But do they care? Especially mom..?

No.

I don't know what has happened to her. Why has she become this toxic and self-centered. She can't hear anything that is alter to her opinion. Cuss words, abuses and what not.

I know I won't be coming back ever, maybe once or twice whenever they'll ask me to and too with full desperation. Maybe. I don't know.

But I'm more worried about my sister. She has got diagnosed with Anxiety Neurosis. She has her university in August and I'm leaving next week. I know she'll suffer in her hands both mentally and physically.

But I have to leave. I have a future ahead.

She has to leave in 2 months. She has a future ahead.

But what about our mental health?

Is mocking 'us' the solution she had?

Couldn't things be any different?

I'm still financially dependent on her and I might remain for atleast 3 years.

My sister is going in university, she needs finances.

My mom is the only one who is earning well in the family. So when she doesn't have the answer, either she mocks us or she tells that she won't provide us the money (which she eventually does but she satisfies her ego by portraying her as superior).

I don't know if there is an end to it but I'm really tensed about me and my sister's future as well as our mental health.

Both of us will be far from each other. I just want well for both of us.

[Hurtingheart2]

I don’t hav too much to share or say but I’m sorry you’re goin through this 🌹🌷💐I knw parents can be very difficult they can hurt us soo much & don’t seem to get it!!?? I’m glad you are looking to the future and it’s very nice you care for your sister im sure you’ll stay in touch often with her!!

[God-sFavourite in reply to Hurtingheart2]

Of course I'll be there for her at any cost but there might be some physical limitations and i might not be able to be present everytime, physically next to her and that's what makes me a little tensed.