My 7yr old adhd son and eating issues

[Formyson8]

My son is on adhd medication and it is working in many ways but the issue we face is that he does not eat lunch. Then after school he is over hungry almost like an over tired child who can’t sleep. He won’t eat even though his body wants him too. We try having snacks ready for as soon as he gets out of school. Because he is so hungry he gets extemely irritable and argumentative, which cause everyone to get upset and the evening is a mess until he then eats. Once he eats the world is a good place again. We have tried different medication comps that would wear off. This one is working and school is going well. My wife and I are just exhausted with this late afternoon/ early routine. Its painful to watch him struggle like this when it seems preventable if he would just eat when we ask him to.

[Aloysia]

What kind of snacks are you offering him after school? Have you asked him what snacks he would like best right after school? Or asked him which snacks would be easiest for him to eat right after school?

When he is feeling really good, ask him these questions and write down his answers - don't interrupt him by telling him that x is not an ok snack. Do prompt him if he needs help... Would ice cream be a good snack? If so, what flavor? Would pudding be a good snack? What about gatorade? Dried fruit bar? Etc.

Likely what he needs most is some kind of sugar to get his blood sugar back up quickly so he will be less irratible. Then you can have him eat a 2nd snack that is more healthy (nuts, protein, etc). Have him make a list of the things he would like most as a 2nd snack while you are at it.

Once you have some lists, have him order each list. #1 to # whatever. Then you can try out the first thing on the list and see how it goes. If it's unsuccessful, then later in the evening when he is feeling good again, ask why he thinks it didn't work. If he doesn't know why, ask if he thinks you should move on to the next item in the list for tomorrow or whether he wants to give this item another try. Tape the numbered lists to the wall and keep track of things like what day you started trying a particular snack.

This may seem tedious, but there are some important skills that your child will be learning along the way: problem solving, listening to his body, making a plan, etc.

I find this to be an effective problem solving technique for most things and now that my kids are 13 + 14, they can usually do much of this on their own now.

Best wishes!

[STEM_Dad]

I hear about the same issue with adults who have ADHD, particularly if they take stimulant medication, but it's possible that non-stimulant ADHD medications or other medications can also affect hunger.

One option is to make sure your son has a substantial breakfast, something that's going to stick with him. Protein with breakfast is especially helpful for this kind of situation.

It would also help him to eat at school if he makes it part of his routine. Talk to him (and maybe with his teacher, too) about his routine, to find where it would fit best.

Being a 7 year old boy, he might be influenced to eat by motivation of a different sort. For example, if he's into super heroes:

• He might be interested to know that the Flash has to eat to power him because of his super speed.

• The Robert Downey, Jr., version of Iron Man has to eat regularly (presumably to help him think, because he's a genius inventor after all, but actually because the actor had a need to eat frequently throughout the day so he was hiding food around the set...until the directors and producers accepted that it came with the choice of actor, so then they just started allowing food on set).

... You know your son and what his interests are. I'm sure you can find some interest to use as an example of why he needs to eat.

• Dinosaurs, other animals "to be strong and fast"

• Cars or jets "to have fuel to go fast"

• Transformers or other robots "to the power energy to keep going"

...etc.

~~~~~

I have a son (age 11) who has mild Combined ADHD traits (though his mom insists that he doesn't have ADHD). He's 11, and for the last few years at least he doesn't feel like he's getting hungry ... until he is ravenously hungry. I've heard that many people with ADHD are this way, and I suspect that it's more commonly associated with people who have Hyperactive-Impulsive or Combined ADHD.

I have a daughter (age 9) who has mild Inattentive ADHD traits. (Their mom doesn't see it in her, either.) She's currently a very picky eater. A couple of months ago, she was eating a lot. Now she eats maybe half of what is packed for her. Her appetite is so much lower now that sometimes on weekends she won't come to breakfast unless I tell her directly to come eat...and then she eats only half of what she serves herself. (It might be an effect of springtime allergies and starting on allergy medication...or it might be that she was in a growth spurt a little while ago and that it just wore off.)

I have moderate Inattentive ADHD, and I've always felt a need to eat 3-4 times per day, even if it's just a small meal. As far as I know, I've been this way my entire life. Yet, there are times that I have hyperfocused on something and don't realize how much time has passed, then realize that I've been hungry for a while.

~~~~~

Talk with your son's doctor. Talk to his teacher to see if they can occasionally observe what he's doing at lunchtime instead of eating.

Some kids are just very unique in their appetite and their eating requirements. But your son's behavior in the afternoon as a consequence of not eating is a clear indicator that he does need to eat sometime midday.

[SavingHope in reply to STEM_Dad]

Is your child taking adhd medication for inattentive type? Thank you 🙏

[STEM_Dad in reply to SavingHope]

None of my kids are diagnosed. Their mom has always insisted that none of them have ADHD, so she has refused to have any ADHD diagnostic testing.

No diagnosis, so no meds.

The older two are adults. The younger two are in 5th grade and 3rd grade.

Eldest is most likely Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD...even her current doctor has suggested as much. Even with her doctor telling her as much, she hasn't gotten a diagnosis.

Second eldest most definitely Inattentive like me. At 22, he's still on my insurance. I and his fiancee have suggested to him many times that he should go get diagnosed. (His fiancee has ADHD and ASD.)

My 11 year old son is pretty sure that he has ADHD, but his mom insists he doesn't, and she's the most assertive person in the family. I think he has mild Combined ADHD.

My 9 year old daughter is quiet, but I'm sure that she has Inattentive ADHD, but I can't tell if it's mild or moderate.

Both of my youngest kids have regular working memory issues, just not as bad as me and their 22 year old brother. I can't quite recall how bad my ADHD was at their ages...I just know it was there.

[BLC89]

Hello Formyson8,

These are great suggestions. Another that comes to mind is smoothies. Create or find a calorie and or protein rich drink that they like. For whatever reason sometime it is easier to think about taking a drink rather than chewing food. Have that waiting for them and if you can get something like Ensure, not just for old folks ;-), and put that in their lunch. Ask a teacher or lunchroom staff to help get that in them in the middle of the day.

My kids did the big breakfast thing before they took their meds and then had snacks after school but they weren't SO hungry that nothing sounded good - I've been there and it is a lot to try to override.

You can also talk to them about the way their body works, like the super hero idea, and remind them of that conversation when they are hungry "We are just trying to fuel your rocket engine..." or whatever it is you discussed.

And lastly, you can ask that they just take one bite. Again for whatever reason seeing the whole snack, even small ones, can just shut stuff down even more. Offer one bite and give them a high five when they eat it.

Good luck with this, keep us posted!

BLC89

Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Adult and Parent coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and have raised two kids with ADHD. You can find out more at bluelakecoaching.com

[Mamamichl]

my daughter is this way, but it’s more attention rather than meds. She’s easily distracted at school lunchtime. A lot of people also have issues with medications taking away appetite, and some have found reaching out to teacher to let lunch staff know to prompt them to eat. If it’s merely appetite like you say, have you tried a meal replacement shake (like ensure) for lunch? Even if kiddo doesn’t eat, they can try to drink something that helps them feel full, we do this for some of my students.

SoMething that helps my kid also is that she can get a snack after school or a piece of candy in her lunch the next day if she eats her whole lunch (I usually do one protein and one produce. Sometimes I add a carb, but nutrients are an issue with us. For a while letting her pick her lunch each day helped. We have open conversations about her food at lunch and keep from judgement. Sometimes she even eats protein chips. It truly is a dance.

[aKareBear]

My son won't eat at school either. He's not hungry all day and then he is ravenous at night to the point where he's delaying bedtime because he's so hungry. Its a drag.

I try to at least give him milk during school so that maybe he'll drink that. But often times, he was not even drinking that.

[BVBV]

Unfortunately if your son is on stimulants, it removes their appetite and there is nothing you can do to make them eat, it’s so sad to see but it’s not their fault. Their brain is telling them they are not hungry when their body should be eating for nourishment. My son had this issue when medicated and we did big breakfasts and dinners but he also had a hard time coming off the meds and it was exasperated by how hungry he was. There have been a few people on here that said their child’s pediatrician prescribed another prescription to help with their appetite.

[L26vb]

Our 8 year old lost her appetite completely when stimulate meds. Tried offering fast food options, chocolate, anything to add calories. ADHD Consultant said to stop meds as it was a known side effect. Also said that ADHD people see food not as a necessity but a distraction from what they are doing.Sometimes we let her continue her activity and kept passing her mouthfuls while distracted. Appetite returned once we stopped meds and the weight lost (4lbs in a month) regained. Still no new meds (worldwide shortage) but easier to cope with her difficulties than watch her lose any more weight.

[SandalSox]

Hello,

To avoid being "hangry," my son's teachers allow him to have snacks on hand during class as he also does not usually want lunch. My son does not have a mid-day appetite, but he will sometimes snack absent-mindedly while doing other things. I also have snacks available for him when he gets home, and then we have a good dinner at about 6pm. But he will even eat more after that around 8pm. We just want him to take in a good amount of calories so we just try to have him eat healthy options whenever he is actually hungry; it can be hard, though when the ADHD med wears off in the evening.

We did try an appetite stimulant prescribed by this doctor, but it affected his mood so we had to stop. But that may be an option for you?