Need to reach out

[DZRM]

Hi all,

I’m going through a breakup with someone I really gave my heart to. He’s been controlling and emotionally neglecting. I can’t seem to get emotional support by anyone in my family, and I even can’t find it through online therapy. I used substances for many years and was dissociated for a long time. Now it’s like I go through a waking nightmare every day. I don’t know how to support myself emotionally. It’s such a struggle just to get through the day.

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

hi DZRM, well I really relate to what you just wrote.

Controlling and emotionally neglectful is very harmful for us. I have been in this type of relationship and still am, as well, so I get it.

I don't know for me either right now. I hope some people have some wisdom....I hear you and you are not alone.

I think we need help, I don't think most people can heal on their own...although people are different.

If the online therapy was not helpful, I guess keep trying other places to find the support. For me too. We have to be our own best friends through the process I guess and be very kind to ourselves in self talk, encouraging and praising ourselves.

I hear you. I guess it is tiny baby steps. Just try again and again. Then do positive self talk and tell selves that we are doing a good job and keep going.

oh, Getting Through the Day is a book I would highly recommend, it is about dissociation and getting through the day....I need to get it out too again....baby steps....<3

[Nathalie99 Partner]

I am very sorry, DZRM.

I went through a walking nightmare without substance abuse and it was the hardest part of my life.

I tried to look after myself as much as I could. It's important because this means I am worth it.

I did not manage that, eventually it was all too much.

I didn't have any support at that time and this made the situation worse.

I needed to reach out for help and got into outpatient program in a hospital. That helped but I was lucky.

I did try to think of things I wanted to achieve/fulfill and going for bike rides as long as I could.

Wishing you all the strength in the world......

[reaThua9]

Just want to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. Have you considered seeing a therapist? Sometimes a professional can really give you the support and equip you with the strategies you need to get through something like this.

No matter what, this will get better with time, trust me. Praying for you