Feeling Nothing

[OneSidedLover]

right now I am feeling nothing I do not know what to do or how should i handle myself and the reason is the same as I talked about in my last post, people who replied and gave me suggestions helped me a lot honestly but right now the time is 1:17 AM and the thoughts which are coming to my mind are scaring me like I am imagining worse cases (not suicide, don't worry). I want to say that the suggestions helped me but the thing is I am not able to live properly. I am feeling nothing these days which is helping me to go through my day but this is not living without feeling anything this is what I feel is just passing the time. I try to distract myself from her even when I am with everyone when something fun is going on. I have read somewhere that when you are with someone and enjoying but still miss the same person that is love and this sentence confuses me although I love it when she does not love me or does not see my love it frustrates me I know you can not force someone to love you but still my heart craves for her. the thing that worries me is what if she chooses the wrong guy who doesn't treat her right this and that - these thoughts worry me and I know this thing is not in my control but I want her to be happy so in my imagination I think sometimes I want to make her happy, do everything in my power to do so, I will do so much hard work that I can fulfil her any wish, I don't even want to see her cry on any bad thing, I want to make her feel special every time that she thought there is someone who cared for her love her like no one else, there is a person who is always there for her. when she does not see my efforts it frustrates me but I can not do anything about it just give my best with a smile and believe.